Without my sorrow
To where it’s better
Going Home, Leonard Cohen
How is your new home? Does it feel like home yet? Spending time living in a tent, moving every few days, I have been wondering what home means. As we travel around, my traveling companions and I have been thinking about what we might want from a home. Home in a broader sense than just a physical shelter. Sarah has been suggesting some great questions to ponder as we search for answers; What kind of ecological community do you want to live in?, What kind of social community do you want to live in?, Who would you like to live near?, What kind of work would you like to do?
I feel very lucky to have the space to answer these questions from afar (it has taken some time to be able to relax my mind into the space though ;-)). Being able to step away and look back is important. I know you found that to be incredibly beneficial. The combination of people and place is a complex thing to explore. One thing we seemed to have discovered so far is that we identify quite strongly as Victorians. It is really interesting. I think I have always had a strong sense of being Australian – whatever that means – but I have not really contemplated my sense of place on a more local level.
Nikki Gemmell quotes Salman Rushdie “This, perhaps, is what it means to love a country: that its shape is also yours, the shape of the way you think and feel and dream. That you can never really leave.”
When I think of this, I see South Eastern Australia. I feel more connected to that part of the world than anywhere else. This does not stop me from looking beyond! Mostly it is considering the micro, rather than moving into the desert or something. Nikki talks of needing to constantly look for the new and interesting:
I wrestle with this when it comes to home. I feel like I just want to find a spot to prop and settle in for the long haul. But then, after a little while, I get the ‘grass is greener’ feeling. I begin to look around to see what everyone else is doing – do I want to do that too. I also end up getting frustrated with people. As Parker Palmer puts it “Community is that place where the person you least want to live with always lives… When that person moves away, someone else arises immediately to take his or her place”. I think I just need to work on my resilience and accept diversity. That does not stop me seeking perfection though. I’m trying not to, I really am 😉
Tim Winton talks about how Australia is still searching for its own culture. For so long we have battled the disconnect between old school Britain, local aboriginal culture, and the mix of all the other folks who have come to this island over the years. Both Tim and Nikki mention the rising patriotism of the last few years. Scary stuff. We have noticed this disconnect as we travel around the country. I think about your experience as an implant in Australia, as we’ve discussed before – back in Canada, you are no longer a Canadian, while in Australia, you are still a Canadian!
The question of social community is also tricky. Humans are funny creatures, always wanting to be around like minded people. But what is like minded? How far do we drill down to find ‘our’ kind of community? What happens to our perspective and sense of the world if we drill down too far? Will we ever manage a strong mix of culture? I hope so.
As Leonard hints at, leaving home every now and then might be beneficial on lots of levels. Leaving home has certainly helped me work on my sorrow and self esteem (with the help and determination of my family). Will it be better than before when I return? Who knows? I do hope so.
Yours in citizenship,
– With thanks to George for the introduction to the Leonard song.